The cry of a white haired ass
by strawberrypanther
Summary: Shiro, recently single, seems hell bent in spending time with his twin. Sadly for him, Ichigo would rather spend time with a certain blue haired love of his… oneshot and fairly OOC (sorry) w/ smut


**so hey. this was something that was rattling around in my head.**

**it's my first one. please be nice.**

**i apologize for any spelling/story problems, no beta and i just wanted to post it before i chicken out.**

**umm. so yeah.**

**enjoy? and pleasssse review. it'll make my 2013?**

**DISCLAIMER- i wish everyday i owned bleach so grimmichi would feature in every episode. but sadly, no.**

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"KIIIIIIIIIINGGG! COME PLAY WITH ME, I'M SO LONELY AND BOOOOORED"

Ichigo looked deeply into his boyfriend's eyes, a look of longing and sadness in them, as just as the, *ahem* critical moment, his twin brother had interrupted them for the 4th time that day. Grimmjow looked like he was ready to kill a bitch, his cerulean eyes dark with lust and anger, as he started cursing under his breath, and pulled out of Ichigo, who winced slightly.

"Ichi, I swear, if that little shit that you for some unknown reason refer to as your twin interrupts us one more time…" he trailed off with a menacing look in his eyes, wringing his hands in a strangling motion and grinding his unnaturally sharp teeth together. The orange haired man chuckled darkly, agreeing with him. He pulled up his boxers, gave him one last kiss, and dragged himself out of the room, straight into the torso of his mirror image.

Sometimes, he got confused as to whether he had actually walked into his reflection or his identical twin brother, Shiro.

Usually, that was when he was drunk.

But still.

It was quite scary just how similar they looked, passing over the fact that Shiro was an albino, where as someone had actually bothered to colour Ichigo in.

"Shiro… I swear if you don't go crawling back to Shinji within the next 5 minutes I'll tell Goat-face what you actually did to his Don Kanonji figurine, and then show him the evidence"

"You wouldn't dare…"

"Oh really? I think I still have it with me you know. You know how much he LOVED that Don Kanonji doll. Remember how he queued outside in the snow for 2 hours to get it? Remember how his little goaty face lit up with joy when he figured out how to make it say "BWAHAHAHAHA" for the first time?"

"Kinngg pleeeaassee don't tell him"

"And then Shiro, do you remember when, on April 8th, he came downstairs to discover it… missing? He turned the whole goddamn house upside down searching for it. His little face, falling down, screwing up in his weird, goaty way, when he realized, it was gone, forever? How would you like it if he found out that it was used as a… special… toy for you when you and Shinji first hooked up?"

"KING" Shiro shouted furiously as Ichigo picked up the phone, and typed in the first 5 digits of a phone number they both knew too well, from many an avoided call or awkward conversation.

"You fucking deserve this Shiro. Now, stop being a whiny cockblocking bitch and suck it up, or I swear to god I will keep calling Dad. You haven't been broken up for 24 hours, hell, you aren't even broken up, and all you've done is come to our apartment, eat all our fucking food, put on your disgusting sweats and stained shirt and MOAN ABOUT NOTHING"

"King. Be nice to me. I'm heartbroken"

"SHINJI DID NOTHING"

"That's the point. It was our 7 month, 4 day and 6 hour anniversary. YOU KNOW THOSE ARE MY FAVOURITE NUMBERS IN ORDER ICHIGO. HE SHOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING SPECIAL"

"You have 'til 5, or god help me Shiro, I will dial this number. 1."

"Kinnnng why are you so cruel?!"

"2."

"HE SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGED IT"

"3."

"This is just because you haven't had any action in the past day"

"4, and I wonder why that is? Maybe because some stupid whiny white haired prick keeps interrupting us?"

"Pssht. I have done no such thing. And anyway, you shouldn't even be attempting it whilst I'm in my fragile state"

"5." He finished dialling, and pressed the phone to his ear.

"_HELLO MY DARLING SON WHY THE INFREQUENCY OF CALLING ME, IT ALMOST MAKES ME THINK YOU DON'T LOVE YOUR PAPA ANYMORE WHICH I KNOW IS UNTRUE AS YOU TELL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS JUST HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO HA…"_

"Hey dad, just a quick call, remember that Don Kanonji toy you had a few months ago"

There was silence on the line.

_"Son… There better had be a damn good reason you're bringing this up."_

"IGHIGO NO STOP I'LL LEAVE JUST DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS"

"_Why is my other darling son begging you not to tell me about my… *sob* D-d-don Ka…"_ The phone was suddenly filled with sounds of sobbing, crying and whining.

Ichigo mouthed to his twin "I-L-L D-O I-T"

Shiro grabbed the phone from the red-heads hands, slammed it down and promptly sat on him.

"What'cha gonna do now" he giggled, "I've got you covered. There's nothing you can do but listen to me and all my problems"

"Oh really, cockblocker?" came a deep voice from behind the twins. Grimmjow had finally emerged, and proceeded to pick the white haired boy up by the back of his tear, cheeto and mysterious white substance stained shirt. He continued carrying him like this, until he reached the door of their apartment. Not stopping there, he flung the door open, walked across the hallway, until he reached the other door at the end. He knocked on the apartment, still holding him one handed by the back of his t-shirt, and waited fairly patiently for the door to be opened by Shinji.

"TAKE BACK YER FUCKIN GIRLFRIEND, SHINJI"

Shinji, mouth opening and closing like a baby bird eagerly awaiting his worm (something Grimmjow wanted to happen with his big bird, Ichigo), tried to comprehend the scene unfolding in front of him

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, in nothing but a pair of bright orange boxers, holding his boyfriend by the scruff of his neck, who was trying to feign nonchalance with a cool indifferent look on his face.

"Hey, anniversary forgetter" said Shiro

At this point, Grimmjow nearly was killing a bitch. He threw Shiro inside, pulled the door shut, and sprinted back to the apartment, pulling his boxers down whilst slamming the door behind him.

"ICHI, IF YOU DON'T GET THAT TIGHT ASS OF YOURS OVER HERE RIGH…"

He didn't even need to finish the sentence, as Ichigo was rushing around the corner, now fully nude, and ran to his boyfriend, lips first.

They kissed passionately, whilst quickly retreating to the bedroom. Grimmjow, wasting no time, was already 4 fingers deep in the red head, quickly scissoring the boy. He pulled them out, and quickly lubed up, and pushed inside of the slightly younger boy.

They both moaned once, and then promptly again as he moved his hips. The blue haired man started to change the angle with each thrust until… "ARGHHH!"

He found the magical spot.

He kept going, now rubbing the other man's erection in time with his own, until, with the loudest groan yet…

The sound of the front door opening, and a cry of a certain white haired man penetrated their ears

"KIIIIIIINNNGGGGGG, HE WON'T SAY HE'S SORRY!"

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**aaaaaand there you have it**.

**it wasn't as good as it could have been, but i literally would have chickened out if i reread it. **

**so yeah. **

**pleeeeaasseee review, you can flame if you want. constructive critism is always appreciated. i have a lotttt of plot bunnies racing around my head right now, so if this story goes down well there will be more to come!**

**anyway.**

**hope you all had a good christmas/ any other holiday you celebrate**

**lots of love,**

**bex xx**


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